街头日记

   最初看到《自由作家》的片名，我以为是关于一个独立思考、反抗专制政体的作家的传记片，就像许多被关进监狱、被迫流亡国外甚至惨遭杀害的作家。看了王怡的影评《我曾是一篇童话的主人公》，才知道这不是描写一个人孤独的抗争，而是一群小孩子，通过写作，观察世界、释放自我、从而彼此间进行沟通、了解的过程。那个初出茅庐、充满了理想的年轻女教师艾恩•格鲁维尔交给每人一本记事本，要他们写下发生在他们身上的事，good things,bad things,anything。
    那天开家长会，看着优等班的老师送走最后一个家长，Ms.G的203班除了她等待的身影却空无一人。她孤独地坐在讲台前，突然想起和同学们之间关于写日记的约定，打开柜子，满满当当，是大家写着发生在自己身上的暴力、战争、遗弃等事件的记事本。从那一刻开始，孩子们的世界有了一个倾听者；也就是从那一刻开始，他们不再孤身一人面对丑恶的世界。其实，这些身体和心灵都伤痕累累的孩子，他们需要的不只是服从纪律、接受来自成人世界的灌输、教育（像傲慢的坎贝尔所说），他们需要的是倾听、沟通、理解、爱和宽容。
    因为一次漫画事件，老师讲起二战期间针对犹太人的大屠杀，她问，你们中有多少人知道大屠杀，只有那位白人小朋友犹犹豫豫举起了手。这引发了后面一系列的事件，老师通过兼职，筹钱带孩子们参观大屠杀纪念馆，自费给他们买书等等。王怡在他的影评最后说：“我能说什么呢，关于我们的艾恩，我们的童话，我们的大屠杀，我们的纪念馆，我们的课堂和我们的电影院。”是的，关于我们自己身上流淌着鲜血的历史，我们能说什么。我们，就像易大旗先生说的，一直在被“喂药”（《黄金甲.白馒头》），被袁伟时先生称为喝着“狼奶”长大的一代，是否已经失去了言说的能力。

What is the picture of America in your mind? Tall buildings, high-tech, and fantastic movies in Hollywood…America is a dreamland for most people. It is a country which is filled with exciting adventures, top fashion, romantic love, and modern life. Actually, it is the world of America. However, there is still another world hided in the shadow of these fantastic things. The Freedom Writers unveils the cover of the hided world. It is the world which is filled with gang violence and racial tension. It is still America. But it is not the America in your dream.
Maybe you will be confused by the title of the movie. It is not a story of the real writers. It is a story of some rebellious students. Freedom Writers is a 2007 American drama film starring Hilary Swank, Scott Glenn, Imelda Staunton and Patrick Dempsey. It is adapted from the book The Freedom Writers Diary by teacher Erin Gruwell who wrote the story based on Woodrow Wilson Classical high School in Long Beach, California. It is a story about transformation. A group of people was abandoned by the world and saved by the brief. It is not just a story on the screen. It can be anyone’s story. Maybe it is yours.
The movie is real but out of the common. It shows a hard journey that some students who are labeled as “at-risk” and “unteachable” get rid of the past shadow with the help of their teacher, Erin Gruwell. Maybe you don’t know the history of segregation and the multiracial problems in America. You still can understand how badly the students who are labeled as “backward student” are treated. You still can understand how hard for these kinds of students to own a bright life. The movie calls up something my inner self. The hided world in America, which is neglected by us for a long time, harms some people. But there are still some people have the courage to choose their own life. They light the lamp for themselves. They stand up in the bad situation.
Your life is what you choose. I am impressed by Eva in the movie. She is a Hispanic girl and narrator for much of the film. She was surrounded by the racial hatred and gang wars since she was a child. She was affected by the kind of life. But a murder changed her life. One night, Eva’s boyfriend accidentally killed Sindy’s boyfriend. Eva became a witness. She must testify in court.
Formerly she must protect her own people in her testimony. But she learned something different from her teacher Eric. She hesitated to make the choice. For the benefit of her, she should against the law to lie. For the fair, she should tell the truth to the judge. “To be or not to be” is not one person’s problem. How to choose? What is the right thing for her? It is a kind of torture for her. Finally she chose to tell the truth, much to some of her family members’ dismay. The gang members caught her. It was the breathtaking moment. I was so afraid. Fortunately, for the respected for Eva’s father, the former gang members decided not to kill her. But she was abandoned by her father and her family. It is a turning point for her. She got a chance to change and went far away from gang life. I am happy for her and think a lot. How to control our own destiny? People make history; unusual people make history interesting; unlucky people can make their own history. The answer is answered.
The past evil thing is still alive in the modern world. We don’t understand the segregation. We think it belongs to the past and is pulverized by the history. We don’t understand the gang war. We think it only exist on the screen. Now we know the cruel life is still alive, even in America. How hard it is for these students in that situation. How shocking for us to know it. The movie widens our horizon. We know more and think more. If I were a girl in such situation, what should I have done? I don’t know. No accurate answers. Everyone makes the choice by themselves. It is not only the fight in outside world, but also the fight inside world. You need to win yourself. In the movie Eva shows us how to fight in her heart.
Besides her, in the movie all students make their choice fighting against original themselves. They are lucky and brave. Maybe you can learn to evoke yourself from them. The woman teacher, Eric Gruwell, is the angel for the students. She is responsible, warm-hearted, and tenacious—she is an admiring teacher. She makes her students become the new people. It is the best rewarding thing for her. Her father said: “What you’ve done with those kids…I don’t even have words for it. But one thing for sure, you are an amazing teacher. Special. You have been blessed with a burden, my daughter. And I envy you that. And I admire you.” She is not only the teacher but also a doctor—save those whose spirit is crushed.
All in all, it is an unmissable movie. You will be touched and inspired. The movie is a teacher for us. The plot is attractive and compact. The soundtracks touch your heart deeply. You will know more about the America. The movie deserves your appreciation. Don’t miss it.

如果不是因为力之的提醒，我差不多忘记了9月10号是个节日。去年的9月10号我也忘了，直到在商场里看见许多穿中学生制服的女孩在柜台前挑选香水，并嘱咐店员包装好，说要送给老师。我不知道那些收到礼物的老师会是什么样的心情，是不是像我的一个当教师的朋友那样，每年都为收到不合适的礼物而头痛不已。那么，是否存在一种“最合适”的礼物，能让所有教师都感受到，这一年一度的谢恩对他们是多么大的安慰？
Ms.G也许从来没有把学生的日记当作礼物，可当她第一次忐忑地打开橱柜的门，看见里面满满的堆着学生们的日记本时，一定像收到礼物似的喜出望外。这特别的馈赠，不是飘着馨香的祝福和赞美之词，而是写满了屈辱、仇恨、绝望的记忆。孩子们用打破沉默的方式，报答Ms.G给予他们的信任。一个孩子在日记中写到：“我失去了许多在未经宣告的战争中就死去的朋友，对那些战士和我来说，这都是值得的。”这样的话不知在他心里徘徊了多久，而在形成文字的那一刻，他才得以自由。曾经的遭遇不再能够困住他，他在讲述自己的同时，也重新认识了自己和过去。
同样是这个孩子，在面对着二战时期救过犹太人的Miep Gies女士时，他说：“我从来没见过英雄人物，但你是我的英雄。”到底什么在发生变化？这些从小混帮派的孩子们，一度是种族暴力的坚决拥护者。Ms.G第一次在课堂上提到大屠杀的历史时，他们竟为排除异己的手段叫好。可是，当他们在博物馆里亲眼看见令人发指的大屠杀怎样发生，又有多少无辜的孩子因此被剥夺生命，学生们终于明白，为什么Ms.G说，一切罪恶正是从一张带有种族歧视的漫画开始。这些年轻人需要选择，是给这世界留下不断挑衅不断冲突的接力棒，还是通过自由写作结束暴力。
Ms.G无疑是个理想主义者，而理想主义的实践从来就不是一帆风顺的。校方不同意她给学生们读新书好书，怕浪费了教学资源。她便兼职筹钱，给学生们买书，带他们去旅行，邀请大屠杀幸存者来和孩子们交流。这似乎大大超越了一个中学教师的职责范围，连她最信赖的父亲和丈夫都无法理解这些举动。在一板一眼的教育体制下，她的“异常”也为其他教师所不容。但在孩子们眼里，Ms.G“一旦下定决心做某件事，什么都阻挡不了她”。这个过程不是没有伤痛，坚持理想的艰难就在于，是否始终相信所有的付出都有意义且有效果。如果改变不了孩子们的生活怎么办？如果没有权威的支持怎么办？Ms.G做到了，她的故事被搬上荧幕。而我所知道的一些从事教育工作的理想主义者却没有那么幸运。比如我的一位中学语文老师，推荐我们读《南方周末》，鼓励我们在周记里写诗，还曾为了悼念辞世的艾青在课堂上朗诵他的诗作至热泪盈眶。可在我毕业后一年，他便离开了我的母校，不再以教书为业。
我不知道这位老师是否曾像Ms.G一样，试图激发我们这些懵懂少年去表达心灵中初露端倪的自由意识，但我知道，在离开他的课堂7年之后，终于有一些当年他播下的种子开成了美好的花。没有经历过电影里那些孩子们惊心动魄的青春，我却深知苦难是相通的，因为人类的历史只有共同的一段，是黑暗与光明交替，而最终需要人们自我解放与救赎的过程。因此，无论在90年代的洛杉矶或是南京，一位中学教师都可以站在讲台上，以自由的名义说：“你们不只是坐在教室里的孩子，你们是拥有自己声音和故事的作家。”
谨以此文，献给我26年生命中每一位老师，祝教师节快乐。

1.她兴冲冲地进门说着自己同学生关系的进步，就不由得皱眉，别自顾自呀，看看他呀，他心不在焉那。最后到底是离婚了。
2.现实中的Mrs.G此后开始推广自己的教育计划，她走上讲台，是按计划行事的自信满满，还是环顾四周突然觉得需要力量？我很可以说Mrs.G精神可嘉，然后又不自觉地将她的行为与教育系统对立起来，对推广计划抱以悲观。
3.她向学生争取认同，又与学生们一起争取他人的认同，起初并没有多大野心，之后却能全情投入。最后真的成功了，老师与学生之间建立了真正的联系，这一过程本身就是在探索未知，他们有机会了解到什么是真正有力量的，因为亲自看着它发生，这不就是我们追求的明白事理吗？他们成就了彼此，在人生中这永远是少数的机会。
4.伊梅尔达·斯汤顿饰演的体制内教师也十分令人难忘，她爆发那一刻的表演有力极了。坎贝尔夫人极力维护教育体制的秩序，抱有理想激情的新老师则不自觉地追求特殊，这两股态度之间的战争是永恒的，不会有完胜。当矛盾激化，她激烈的回应耐人寻味，看重教龄和资历，看重经验，损害书籍就禁止借阅，这遵循规章的做法能提高效率，也是她眼中的公平，数十年如一日的模范教师更没少出过。扪心自问，她们一直严格恪守并极力维护的秩序竟然遭到这些随便搞花样的年轻人的破坏，怎能不愤恨不平？
5.Mrs.G的成功确认了一个不断被肯定的尝试：关心学生的问题是什么并努力提供方法，与他们一起去寻找答案。教育有非常私人化的一面，与个体经验相关，而这往往容易受到外界的轻视和破坏，尤其是制度化的行为。Mrs.G被树立成一个典范，也许就是在表彰她面对社区生活和教育体系的挑战时获得的成功，她鼓励学生表达自己的观点，重新看待已有的生活经验，与他们一起实践想法。电影具体表现了所发掘出的力量有多惊人。
6.具体说来，这种力量的性质并不是普遍的。她的学生多次提到战争和暴力，严厉的生存环境令他们具有顽强的性格，使得他们一旦被激发就会义无反顾地追求。向上爬的求生本能，混合新大陆爱好的启蒙神话，在多种族的美国社会似乎还有生猛的魅力，而在过度文明化的欧洲则显得行将落幕多了。比照同样题材的《历史系男生》，气质和着眼点就大不一样。
7.通常来说，老师们理想的荣誉学生要么有种拒绝世事的本能，要么天生就能在学业与现实间应付自如。因此，这些容易对现实发问而常常不顾课后作业的学生，有些老师可能梦寐以求，另一些则唯恐避之不及。这种偶然只能归结于教育的不平等。
8.作为教师家庭子女，无法不对以上种种战争-老师之间，老师与学生之间，各自与现实之间，或在自我之间-印象深刻。事实上，老师若试图向学生负责，每一堂课绝对是时不我待寸土必争，但很多课堂上可能根本没有交战的双方，这其实更加残酷。
9.无论在何种社会何种现实面前，这种战争不得不持续下去。Hector说：Pass it on, pass it on!全部意义都在此。